Grace Jones: one sexy sexagenarian

For some strange reason I have always had a bit of a celebrity crush on Grace Jones. Well, maybe not a crush exactly. I think I'd be too frightened to spend the night alone with her, but even from the time I was young and saw her in Conan the Destroyer and Vamp back in the mid-80s, I just thought she exuded sexuality. From her striking beauty to her bewitching vocals to her on-screen vivaciousness, there's just something about her.

She was also quite the trend setter in her time because it was she along with David Bowie and Annie Lennox if you ask me that introduced that androgynous mystique that helped define the 80s. Later performers like Boy George and Sinead O'Connor would try to cash in on it but somehow fail. Grace Jones though could sport an athletic cut man's suit and make it work.

Saint Wikipedia teaches us that Grace Jones was banned from all Disney theme parks worldwide after baring her breasts at a concert in Disneyland. Her official website however does not confirm this, so this may be one of the few things found on the innerwebs that isn't actually true. I don't remember seeing Grace Jones bare-breasted in anything, but MrSkin.com (not a saint, mind you) says I must have gotten up to get more Smurfberry Crunch at the wrong time during Vamp because she was naked at some point from the waist up during a scene. I'd guess the real reason she's been banned from Disney is because she has a better rack than Snow White and Cinderella put together. I'll add Vamp to the Netflix queue to confirm.

Sadly, Saint Wikipedia also teaches us that Grace Jones is going to be 60 this year, and for this reason I think she should fall off my celebrity crush list. Jodie Foster remains on even after her coming out and Juliette Lewis, because she was born a year after me, will probably always be on it. But right now, eligibility to collect social security is a deal breaker in my book.

Grace, if you're reading this, it's not you. It's me. For years, I was a slave not just to your rhythm but also to your stunning physique and slight Caribbean accent, but it's time to part ways. So here I go.

Walking.

Walking.

In the rain.